Dear Younger Yeye,
Saying you’ll be more than fine is an understatement. You’ll
be something that you never dared to dream or pray for. Trust me on this one.
Being the last girl out of 6 children and your dad’s ‘first
wife’, you grew up quite sheltered and so you didn’t have the prerequisite hard
knock skills needed to navigate through the formative years of your life.
That’ll constantly make you feel like the odd one out and, at times, frustrated
because ‘Yeye is the last to know’. But
don’t mind that.
Yeye, for the better part of your life, you let your
emotions define you and what you do because once you feel something, it has GOT
to be true and every other thing is a lie. That’s a big lie!!! You’ll come to realize how deceitful and fleeting
your emotions are and that they can never outweigh the truth which will set you
free. This is no way saying
you should ignore them but a wiser approach would be to actually sleep over
them and with time, question the wide range of emotions you eventually learn to
label. Accurately.
You hear the phrases: ‘stay true yourself’, ‘ never back
down’, ‘never change for anyone’ etc. They sound so deep and resonate within
but what do these really mean? You’ll begin to find the answers as you get into
real life experiences after High School. While still trying to sift through what
life is and how to essentially turn yourself into, Stone Cold Steve Austin
in University, you’ll find that wearing all black clothes, eyeliner and
lipstick is just a seeming cover to keep you unapproachable ergo, no more pain
and drama in your life, right? You do this in a bid to adjust yourself to fit
the idea of what the world defines as ‘strong’ but only end up cheating
yourself out of truly expressing yourself. You see that even through the many
painful experiences with friendships, you can never control what one person says
or does to you but what you CAN
control is YOUR response,
attitude and perspective.
You’re probably wondering, ‘my future life sounds like the Diary
of a Mad Black Woman movie’ but hang on. It gets a whole lot better.
You see, all these twists and turns were arming you with the tools you need to
walk the roads your colour-energy-green –self would never ordinarily be able
to. They gave you a staying power that you couldn’t kumbaya through. Kabod.
Your wealth won’t come from your bank balance, diversified
investments or promotions. It’ll come from your relationships. Your greatest
assets are the people you surround yourself with. Your squad. You don’t need a
thousand in your army. Just a few tried and tested that you can confidently
vouch for. Not everyone is going to be in the sacred place. Know who each
person is to you and always make the time. Invest in them even though you’d
rather ‘shoop’ by yourself. Be carefully spontaneous in what you say ‘YAS’ to!
Most importantly in this regard, stay open to other points of view, never
insisting on your way or the high way.
In your late teens and early 20’s you’re convinced you know
what love should be because of how emotional and sensitive you are: mad,
dramatic, fun, energetic, obsessive- to name a few. How could you have known
your definition of love was completely skewed when you hadn’t KNOWN Love
Himself for the apt point of reference? You’d heard of Him a couple of times
but He meets you where you are when that break up you thought would kill you
doesn’t and begins taking you on a journey you are still on. You figure out
later on that there’s nothing more attractive in relationships than PEACE.
Your career isn’t what you’ll plan it to be. You’ll study
Computing with Management because you were told that’s where the money’s at and
you’ll get offers before you graduate. You absolutely hate coding and Java but
it’ll teach you the importance of attention to detail. That wrongfully placed comma
in the middle of a 3,000 line code that refused to run? Yeah, enough said! You’ll
graduate with a 2:2 which people will tell you means you might have as well
graduated with a 3rd class because nobody wants the bottom of the
food chain. Remember what I said about controlling your responses to what
people say about you or your future? Case in point. Don’t EVER believe you aren’t allowed to dream or want better. Don’t let
that make you believe you aren’t enough because you are! You’ll settle for less
in terms of roles you get but still doggedly apply yourself in building the
foundation for cross-functional experience and relationships.
It’s never too late to start over. Don’t let the fear of
striking out keep you from playing the game! If it means you have to give up
the status quo and learn a new language or go to a country where you have NO
back up. Do it! I’ll tell you for free that you started living life when you
decided to quit your steady paying job and make that change. You’ll go through
bouts of excitement, fear and uncertainty but you’ll know you’re on the right
track.
You worked hard, did the needful and so much more and that
was important in building integrity, dedication and patience in you but I think
it’s unfortunate if a man has to work for EVERY SINGLE THING HE HAS. Surely,
favour HAS to make a way at some point in his life. Like the dream of a job.
No, MEANIGFUL WORK that you are
doing right now. How would you have even prayed for that? Yet in this short
time, this place has pushed and challenged you in ways that are feeding into
your personal life. You’re more assertive and know how to pick your battles.
That timid mew from the cat is definitely and still transforming into the
lion’s roar.
Why did you have to go through these, why not have the
Master give you a blueprint so that you can follow a checklist day by day?
Where would the fun, wonder, searching , journeying and forming of self come from if it was THAT straight
forward? You’ll discover and be grateful for the power of hindsight- the lens
that makes almost everything clearer.
Let this keep you going:
Time has and will continue to show- you’ve never walked alone. This is your reality.
Your assurance. Your confidence and courage.
Inhale.
Exhale.
You’ll be more than fine.
Love,
Present You
