Tuesday, 26 November 2013

The Search

Walking the cold streets of life
Confused
Aimless
Like a vagabond who has no idea of her genesis, and worse, heritage.
Like a child who knows not her Father.
Like one who is not persuaded in the one she believes in.

Now I’ve found You once again
Dead woman brought to life
Yet another resurrection through a love that lasts until eternity and forever
How foolish of me to have thought that You didn’t find my body conducive enough to make a home in my heart.
The sheer insanity of me to have thought that You had forgotten the sound of my voice, and in the process, forsaken me.

It’s hit me.
Now realizing I had something that I never lost.
Fellowshipping and being in the midst of brethren and sistren alike
Smiling
Laughing
Connecting
Pure, unadulterated goodness and joy.

Thank You for never letting go
Thank You for your unconditional love
Thank You for the gift of fellowship
Thank You for GRACE

Grace.....

Your release of undeserved enablement, empowerment and forgiveness.
Your grace which accommodates all my weaknesses, flaws and quirks.
Your grace that catches me every time I fall and dusts the dirt from my shoulder.
Your grace that brings me a step closer to my You-ordained destiny, day by day.

Now I've found You once again
And I chase your attention and stamp of approval on every thought, word and move I make.
I crave your knowing smiles as you turn to your Son and say:
She is mine. I am delighted in her. 

Now I've found You once again.
And I ask for the grace to be consistent.
To hold on desperately like never before.
To be courageous to pay the cost: my life.

This is where I belong.
Right here.
In Your arms.

I can finally breathe.

Thursday, 12 September 2013

There

With each burn
With each scald
I become refined through my Refiner’s fire
Fine like gold
Pain endured all for His glory
The journey isn’t over
The story hasn’t come to an end
This is where it begins

What do I carry in my spirit?
Am I 5 ft 9 inches of little, or worse, no capacity?
Am I morbidly obese on the inside
Or do I merely speak and orders are changed?
Do I stand when the winds blow
Or do I wobble to the left or right
Neither here nor there?
Am I just 5 ft 9 inches of uncertainty
Or is there more within?

Learning that each trying time was intended for my good, not to hurt me
Learning that all the pain was for my benefit, not to my detriment or destruction
Learning that until I pass that one peculiar test, according to Your standards and purpose...
Until I am truly ready and certified by You
Before I can come a little bit closer to my destiny
Lord, humble me and just tell me what to do
I’ll do it
No matter how long
No matter what it takes
I will
It will not be easy, pain and challenges are certain
But I will
Just take me THERE

Here’s the thing though
I’m as fragile as porcelain
Breaking under every crack
Until I am ready to be THERE
Until my mind, body, spirit and soul are ready to be THERE
Before I can proceed to enter therein
My spirit doesn’t have the strength and capacity to cushion the pains and tests that THERE bring
So until I get THERE
I wait
I burn
I press in
I press forward
THERE will be right there

Waiting for me

Wednesday, 27 February 2013

Love and Benediction


God Alone
Wonderful Merciful Saviour
My Father and My Lord
Master of my existence and the universe
Master of all creation: Heaven and earth

My King
Agbanilagbatan
Oba Aye Ri Aye
Olowo Ori Mi
My Redemption
My Restoration
My Deliverer
My Preservation
My Inheritance
My Healer

Lover of my soul
Lover of my broken heart
The One whose love has adorned and spoilt me

My Protector
My Shield
My Buckler
My Strong Tower
My Stronghold
My Cornerstone
The Solid Rock on which I stand
Precious Lamb of God

Holy God
Righteous God
Name above ALL names
Ancient of Days
Peace keeper
Prince of Peace
King of Kings
Lord of Lords
Faithful God
Glorious God. Glorious in Holiness and fearful in praises. Constantly doing wonders
Beautiful God
Awesome God
MERCIFUL GOD. How Your mercies endureth forever
Mighty God
God of Miracles
God of wonders
LOVE
The essence of Love
The promise of life. Your death is life to me
All that is GOOD
King of Glory
Your Majesty until eternity and forever

My Life
My Light
My Strength
My Joy
My Peace
My Present
My History
My Future
My Freedom
My Liberty
My Hope
My Aspirations
My Dream
My Purpose
My Destiny
My Portion
My Inspiration
My Motivation
My Source who has changed my course
My Sustenance
My Everything
My Enough

My heart cries HOLY HOLY HOLY HOLY
The angels are singing HOLY ARE YOU LORD. LORD GOD ALMIGHTY. HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST
Won ko rin OGO OGO OGO

You are not  One who deserves anything I have
Instead,
I OWE you everything
Just because of who You are
Everything You represent
Everything You embody
Everything You stand for
You leave me breathless
I am constantly amazed by You
I cannot find the words to describe You
You are too too much for me

How did I get so lucky?
Who am I that you chose to be mindful of me?
You chose to love me BECAUSE of my imperfections
BECAUSE of my shortcomings
BECAUSE of my failures
Not despite them

And STILL

You stay.
You refuse to let me go
You JUST wont have that: me gone and, more importantly, torn from You.
No. You won’t

You wrap your arms around me and Father me daily
Loving me
Protecting me
Caring for me
Forgiving me
Disciplining me
Showing me that indeed you are the Father of the Fatherless

I am dangerously in love with You
You've set me free
I cannot do anything in this life without You here with me
You mean the world to me

What can I do to bless Your heart?
I want to be the one who puts smiles and grins on Your face
I want to laugh with You
I want to cry with You
I want to prove myself to You and show You how You make me want to be the best I can be
Not for me
Not for him
Not for her
For You
I want to share my life with You

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
You lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You stay giving me faith because You believe in me
Because You Love me

What will I do the day I see you face to face
Will I instinctively fall to my knees?
Will I lay prostrate on the floor?
Will my eyes be bloodshot from crying in recognition of your glorious awesomeness?
I can only imagine....